Monday, November 23, 2009

Global warming is the "Big Bang"

‘Climate change pushes poor women to prostitution, dangerous work’

The effects of climate change have driven women in communities in coastal areas in poor countries like the Philippines into dangerous work, and sometimes even the flesh trade, a United Nations official said.

Suneeta Mukherjee, country representative of the United Nations Food Population Fund (UNFPA), said women in the Philippines are the most vulnerable to the effects of climate change in the country.

“Climate change could reduce income from farming and fishing, possibly driving some women into sex work and thereby increase HIV infection," Mukherjee said during the Wednesday launch of the UNFPA annual State of World Population Report in Pasay City.

Well there you have it folks. Finally! A definitive answer. Scientific proof. Global warming causes prostitution. Apparently? The problem isn't just something recent or of our own age. It's actually a problem that has been with us for thousands of years.

What's really been going on concerning the "big bang."

Global warming must have been around in biblical times, as prostitution sure was. I wonder....could that be why Jesus intervened and prevented the prostitute from being stoned? Could it have been that he was merely taking climate action to prevent a possible climatic action by those who wanted to stone the woman to death.

Go forth and sin no more. Therefore, Jesus must have also been aware of the dangers of global warming and his intercession that day was obviously more important than we ever realized.

And who could could ever forget the fate of Sodom and Gomorrah! Egads! The Lord himself rained down fire from the sky as a result of all the debauchery afoot in them two towns. And here we just thought that it was a little fire and brimstone. but it was actually global warming (the first edition).

So there you have it. To prevent the end of the world and in order to save ourselves from God's immediate wrath? We need to nip it in the bud and we need to do it right now! We need to rein in these temperatures and do it fast, or else every woman on the planet may be in jeopardy of eternal hell fire. Not to mention, the rest of us may have our collective asses scorched by fireballs from the sky.

And all because we failed to prevent cow flatulence and we failed to find alternatives to fossil fuels. Or could it possibly be? We have allowed too many prostitutes to exist at once on the planet. and their combined heat generating properties have collectively raised global temperatures?

Who knew?

No comments: