Thursday, September 24, 2009

This may be your last wipe




Environmentalists Seek to Wipe Out Plush Toilet Paper

Yes friends and neighbors, the looney left is now coming after your individual ass. Not satisfied with killing off American industry, capitalism and your way of life, they are now coming after your own dear little back side as their newest target of American indulgence.

They want your toilet paper. And they want your to use something that has been created by one of their recycled visionary wizards of vegan mother earth.

Stand by....there may be a rush for the commodity! The Stock exchange may begin trading in Wiping futures soon. Hoarding will probably follow, but in the end (pun intended) you may be forced to resort to the corn cob twist like they did back in the old days.

And hey! With all those husks left over from bio fuel production? There should certainly be enough cobs to go around. Now, all we have to do is figure out how to flush them things and how to package them.

2 comments:

Jerome said...

The little green commie bas^ards ain't gettin my Charmin!

Roger said...

There is absolutely nothing like class envy and the outright hatred that many in this country have toward any level of prosperity.