There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission. If we wish to make it louder, we will bring up the volume. If we wish to make it softer, we will tune it to a whisper. We will control the horizontal. We will control the vertical. We can roll the image, make it flutter. We can change the focus to a soft blur or sharpen it to crystal clarity. For the next three years, sit quietly and we will control all that you see and hear. We repeat: there is nothing wrong with your television set or your Ipod or your Ipad. Your cell phones will continue to work as we desire them to. You are about to participate in a great adventure. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to... The Outer Limits of Obama mind control!
The world according to Obama....."don't listen to the same things that I do, listen to what I tell you to listen to and listen to what is state approved."
Besides, the information age is all too confusing and there are those out there who will lie to you right? So why not stick with me and Rahm and David, put down those Ipods and Ipads and listen to my Pied Piper version of the world and truth. I wouldn't lie to you would I?
Certainly not. I don't even know how to operate a play station or a Wi, or much of anything else other than my super secret encrypted Blackberry, but don't mind that, it's only a notch above two tin cans and a string anyway. Listen to the messiah, for I speak the truth! All the others are liars and braggarts and idol worshipers! Pagans to the new truth and the new light in the world which is me! Follow me my children and listen to the words of milk and honey as they drip from my lips! Pay no attention to those men behind the curtain!
Obama bemoans 'diversions' of IPod, Xbox era
"You're coming of age in a 24/7 media environment that bombards us with all kinds of content and exposes us to all kinds of arguments, some of which don't always rank all that high on the truth meter," Obama said at Hampton University, Virginia.
"With iPods and iPads and Xboxes and PlayStations, -- none of which I know how to work -- information becomes a distraction, a diversion, a form of entertainment, rather than a tool of empowerment, rather than the means of emancipation," Obama said.
He bemoaned the fact that "some of the craziest claims can quickly claim traction," in the clamor of certain blogs and talk radio outlets.
"All of this is not only putting new pressures on you, it is putting new pressures on our country and on our democracy."
Obama, who uses the handful of Commencement addresses that he delivers each year to meditate on societal developments broader than the minutiae of everyday politics, warned the world was at a moment of "breathtaking change."
"We can't stop these changes... but we can adapt to them," Obama said, adding that US workers were in a battle with well-educated foreign workers.
"Education... can fortify you, as it did earlier generations, to meet the tests of your own time," he said.
So there you have it my fellow Americans.....Almost exactly as Rod Serling told us a generation ago: "You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension - a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You've just crossed over into the Twilight Zone."
Except this is now...."The Obama Zone."
And always in closing, a fitting epitaph to today's episode of the Outer Limits and what man's dabbling with the unknown may reap.
Increasingly, modern science pursues powers traditionally reserved for the Almighty. But those who encroach upon the province of the gods realize too late that the price for entrance... is destruction.
Stay tuned for next weeks episode......"The messiah, the man, the plan."